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Review: Tasty by Greggs, Primark

Posted on February 21, 2022March 2, 2022 by Laura

Ok lads, buckle up – have I got a treat for you today..

Out of morbid curiosity (and because a few of you weirdos have actually asked) I went on a thrilling adventure to Primark this week to see what the new ‘Tasty by Greggs’ cafe is all about.

Yes, really.

On my way there (in between laughing at myself for agreeing to do this nonsense for others) I pondered two things: 1) surely all the clothes smell of pastry, and 2) if there’s no mechanical sausage roll I can ride with a steak bake hanging out my gob, I’ll be livid.

I found it on floor -1 (by the men’s section) by following the sugar rings marking the way, like some sort of fast food Frodo Baggins. It’s in your face neon colourful. The kind ‘kids soft play’ level bright that makes you wish you had brought sun glasses or not had that last martini you definitely didn’t need the night before. Unsurprisingly, it also really smells like baked things and sugar.

Let’s be clear – this cafe is big. The place is bigger than Prince Andrew’s legal bills. It’s also a full sensory overload of random things I don’t really understand.

There’s a self-service coffee station in the form of a sort of truck type set up (great if you’re in a rush or simply hate talking to other humans) and a fake phone box… no, I don’t know why either.

There’s also this outside/inside bit with fake grass, too. Because god knows we didn’t all do enough ‘coffee on public benches’ during the super fun Covid Olympics…

The last time I sat on a doughnut it was an inflatable in a pool on a hen do and I don’t remember going home that night, but here you can sit in a whole booth made of a sprinkle covered one. There’s lots of seating areas, all seemingly with different themes, and they’re all clearly designed with kids or Instagram in mind. Except the bit that’s cover in a sort of old man tartan jacket type fabric.

Case in point, I found an area that one can only assume is designed for taking selfies, complete with multiple neon lights and a doughnut swing. They really want you to know the sell doughnuts here.

Food wise it’s exactly what you’d expect from literally any Greggs anywhere except there’s twice as much of it. I procured a pack of rolls avec sossidge but couldn’t be arsed to take my Invisalign out to eat any. I promptly forgot about them until I found them in my handbag so I gave them to a homeless guy I know on my walk home. I told him about the Greggs x Primark collaboration and he also thought it sounded ridiculous.

Before leaving I tried to find the Greggs x Primark garments but I think I was too early. Did a Google though… it’s defo the holiday sliders for me. Apparently you can also get hoodies and T-shirts. Mother’s Day is coming up – you know what to do, kids.

So what’s the verdict?

Sure, we’ve got the most Michelin stars outside of London and some of the most innovative chefs in the country, but now we’ve got this Greggs in a ruddy massive Primark I’m sure we’ll be right up there on the culinary map. Rejoice Birmingham! Our time has come.

You can see more of this glorious adventure via this incredibly well put together video. Quality content, I’m sure you’ll agree.

I’m sure it goes without saying, but this is silly and meant lightheartedly. Do not take this seriously and whinge to me about it. As I always say, to each their own and enjoy whatever makes you happy. I attribute Greggs sausage rolls for keeping me alive during some of my worst hangovers and, as you all know by now, I don’t practice food snobbery ✌🏼

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(Save this post so you can come back to it later✌🏼)
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WIN A MEAL FOR 2 AT ALL GREEK

CLOSED. WINNER IS @maz_p91 

With the weather turning more Mediterranean (occasionally…) I’ve joined forces with All Greek to bring you a great giveaway.

PRIZE: 
The winner will bag a meal for 2 at this popular Greek street food venue. Whether you prefer meaty souvlaki or gyros, classic dips and pitta, or a tasty platter; you’ll get £40 to spend on whatever food (there’s veggie options too) and drinks you and your +1 want. Sound good? Send it to your mates and get them involved too! 

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(▪️Optional: sharing the post allows more people you know to enter and more opportunity for someone you know to win)

T&C: 
Giveaway closes 9pm Wed 25th May. The prize is supplied directly by the venue and can be used anytime at their Stephenson Street branch. 1 winner will be chosen at random and notified from this account only. Winner will be tagged on the post after a story announcement. Multiple entries are allowed but use separate comments for each. You must be following both accounts - if you’re picked but don’t follow both you’ll be disqualified and a new winner chosen at random. Not run, endorsed or affiliated with Instagram/Facebook. Image copyright to venue tagged.

Get tagging, following and sharing. Good luck!

⚡️Winner will only be contacted from this account ⚡️
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*GIVEAWAY CLOSED* Win dinner at Gaucho and overni *GIVEAWAY CLOSED*

Win dinner at Gaucho and overnight stay with Staying Cool at The Rotunda.

To celebrate the launch of Birmingham Restaurant Festival (22 August - 4 September) I’ve got a great giveaway to get you in the mood, with a prize worth over £350!

The winner will enjoy an overnight stay in a chic Clubman Apartment up in the clouds at ‘Staying Cool at The Rotunda’ PLUS a mouth-watering dinner for 2 at Gaucho Birmingham to sample the finest cuts of Argentinian Beef and seafood - all during the festival itself.

🤞🏼To enter you need to:
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Get tagging, following and sharing. Good luck!

⚡️Winner will only be contacted from this account ⚡️

T&C: Giveaway closes 9pm Friday 29th April. Prizes are supplied by the venues. Both to be redeemed during BRF (22 August - 4 September) and dates are subject to availability. One winner will be chosen at random and notified from this account. Multiple entries are allowed but use separate comments for each. You must be following ALL accounts - if you’re picked but don’t follow all accounts you’ll be disqualified and a new winner chosen at random. Not run, endorsed or affiliated with Instagram or Facebook.

Specific T&C for Gaucho: Offer is for dining for 2 people from the Gaucho Birmingham Restaurant Festival Menu. The value of this offering must not exceed £150. Value of offering will vary depending on number of guests. If the spend per person exceeds £75, the guests will need to pay the additional spend. This prize is available at Gaucho Birmingham only.
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WIN dinner for 2 or 4 at Happy Lamb Hotpot.

First of the BYB birthday giveaways is here. To celebrate its new set menus, I’ve joined forces with the fabulous Happy Lamb Birmingham to bring you a great prize (2 actually) to share with friends.

There’s a table for 2 AND a table for 4 up for grabs, meaning 2 winners will be made from the same giveaway. Winners will enjoy the full set menu experience on a date of your choosing. There’s lots of seafood and veggie options, not just meat, btw.

To enter you need to:
❗️LIKE this post
❗️TAG the people you’d share the prize with
❗️FOLLOW both @happylambbirmingham and
@biteyourbrum

T&C: Giveaway closes 9pm Thursday 14th April. Prizes are supplied directly by the venue. The 2 winners will be chosen at random and notified from this account only. Multiple entries are encouraged but use separate comments for each. You must be following BOTH accounts - if you’re picked but don’t follow both accounts you’ll be disqualified and a new winner chosen at random. Not run, endorsed or affiliated with Instagram or Facebook.

Get sharing, following and tagging. Good luck!

❗️Remember: winners will only ever be contacted from this account❗️

📸: Happy Lamb Birmingham
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PaulCadmanUKProf. Paul Cadman 🇺🇦@PaulCadmanUK·
15h

Thank you Aaron Cora good to see Conrad Alex and @BiteYourBrum - last night was really enjoyable-10/10 for the food and service- @HDVBirmingham

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BiteYourBrumBite Your Brum@BiteYourBrum·
24 May

I’m pulling together a post about food and drink specials, events, and pop ups etc happening over jubilee weekend. Must be Brum based and involve eating or drinking in some capacity. If you want me to add your venue drop me a DM. Deadline end of May ✌🏼

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IamcrabstixNicola@Iamcrabstix·
25 May

PEOPLE DIED ON THEIR OWN. NO CONTEXT NEEDED TO GATHERINGS.

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BiteYourBrumBite Your Brum@BiteYourBrum·
25 May

Hang on, so Sue just decided the party in his own fucking flat didn’t matter?

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BiteYourBrumBite Your Brum@BiteYourBrum·
25 May

Today’s the day for my gorgeous pals @farahchaudry and @RoryJMcGhie as they open their brand new coffee shop in Kings Heath. Go give @PauseBirmingham some love ❤️

Farah Chaudry@farahchaudry

My new coffee shop opens later today 😭

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